Saturday, January 10, 2009

If you guys only knew how much pain I am bearing, then maybe you will understand.  If you know that right now, I am just relying on people's assurance of love and loyalty, then maybe you'll understand why I need emotional security.  If you just know who broke my trust, then maybe you'll understand why I immediately dismiss anyone who can't promise me that.  If you only know how lonely my life is, then you'll appreciate me more and how far I've come in trying to move on and get on with my life.  

People think I have the ideal life, and I am an ideal person.  No.  I am scarred.  I am hurt.  And I don't want anyone dragged in this misery, and so I stay away at a comfortable distance, occasionally stretching my hand out to ask for some love from people who are generous enough to spare some.  

I am alone.  I am lonely.  I am losing the last strands of hope.

See right through me.  

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