Sunday, May 31, 2009

I miss you.  Last night I found myself staring at you subtly, looking for the traces of tears that fell down from those eyes for me.  It seems like a long time ago.  But you obviously have moved on.  Had you come nearer alone, you would've heard this heart beat your heart too.

Now I wonder what you think of me.  Am I still the "you're really an ok person" you want to be in a relationship with?  Or have I become just like the others whom you have easily forgotten?  I feel so stupid for being so transparent.  I could have just walk away.  But I insisted to stay.  You said last night that people cannot not have cracks.  You said that it is scary to be around people who haven't explored their dark side.  I knew you were referring to me.  I am not a fool not to realize that.  Is that who I am to you?  Or is that the person you made me in your mind so you can easily forget me?  You say that you forgot almost everything from last year, when I know cause you told me that you liked me because we were almost always together last year.  That statement meant that you forgot all about me.  You say you forget the sad and painful things.  Am I just all pain and sadness to you?  Why do I still think that something beautiful happened? 

Please write something about me in your blog again.  I'd like to know what you think.  You saw something in me before.  Do you still see it in me now?  Or have you been disillusioned?

If only.  But we both know it cannot happen in this lifetime.