I still wonder why she likes me.   She, and her smarts, her books, her benevolence, her compassion, her totally different (and a lot better) view of the world, her spontaneity, her sweetness, her heart.

Why me?  Why would she like someone who is trying to hang on to dear life?  Who is on a brink of letting all loose.  

I bet she doesn't know.  Maybe it doesn't show.  But there.  She doesn't realize she's liking someone scarred.  Someone she doesn't need for now.  I wonder what she'll think if she learned my sad sad life story.  Would she still like me?  

I don't like her to like me.  I always tell her she deserves somebody better who would share all her wonderful plans who is happier and emotionally stable.  If I were her, I wouldn't be anywhere near me.